Tuesday, August 18, 2015

MY LIFE BACK THEN


I passed my first and second year Bar In 1968 n 1969 respectively. Before commencing my final year I came home for the July long holiday break. At this time my mother was worried that I might decide to marry someone not of her choice. After all I had been away for sometime in UK. By 1969 I was getting ready for my final exam at the age of 24. I had met a lot of girls during that period of time who became friends. As far as my mother was concerned I was at the right marriage age..But then financially I was not ready...I was worried if I got married what happened in the event I failed my final Bar exams as I saw a lot of casualities amongst my friends. My mother was determined and reminded me I had promised I would let her choose my wife. Now she demanded though in a very sweet n gentle way that she would find a wife for me. Quickly I made a deal with her that if she could find a girl before I depart for UK I would abide by her command..In reality this would be difficult if not impossible task. 

I imagined she could not find the right fairy for me which would allow me to find someone on my own. This gave her two months. Her kitchen cabinet was my sisters. My mother didn't even bother to bring my father into the discussion. He was totally unknowing about all these negotiations. They went through all the elubible list of families that have daughters of marriageable age. Its quite funny and strange I could go along with it. Somehow one of my younger siblings Mastura or fondly we called Yam had a possible candidate based on her investigation. My mother and father knew the the family. The father was the first Sec Gen of Ministry of Information and later first GM of BERNAMA when it was formed. Like in a fairy tale they identified the girl who was 17 still in Form 5. They showed me the photograph and I agreed. 

Aziah my future wife's name was in the dark when all this was going on. According to her after everything was agreed she was informed. How undemocratic for her though she objected at the beginning. Me in my abrasive way contacted her and without any tender loving way just told her I might be her husband..She was angry but like some magic working from somewhere both agreed to get married. I was a man of the world and she a school girl who was in the dark what her future life would be. I pity her. This was an arranged marriage but not an arranged love. It was not easy for her and not easy for me as I might fail the final. The marriage was solemnised in KL and was going to be finalised when I qualified. Midway I insisted she should join me in UK. The parents reluctantly agreed. We had a grand wedding at high commission but both our parents could not afford to come. Fortunately our first PM who was in London agreed to grace the Bersanding. It was memorable. It was a good start. We went through the normal ups and downs of married life but somehow it survived so far for 47 years. Its a pity Aziah could not find a man of her choice to fall in love and get married. I suppose that must be the greatest regret for her. 

For me I dont think I was the best guy for her..Now we have six children, three boys and three girls. One of the girls is our darling Peter Pan. Due to our experience we have never interfered with our children's choice their of their life partner. They have find their own and go through the experience. We can just pray for them to be successful. If people asked me what was my greatest regret in life, I would say for not giving Aziah her choice. Albeit its strange we could even meet and get married. How it could last. I suppose until my dying days I would not understand neither could she. This is a true meaning of marriage meet in heaven....Fortunately I passed my Bar an qualfied as a Barrister and quickly found a job as a magistrate. My father and mother were always there. For Aziah hers...

FBSHApost@24 Jun 2015

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